OK, so I’m going to say it.
It’s something that nobody wants to admit.
They certainly don’t write about this in the baby books.
Hold onto your hats…
Babies can be pretty boring.
I know, I know. I’m a horrible human being.
But it’s true, isn’t it?
Babies can be really dull. I mean, you don’t have to possess a particularly short attention span to get tired of cooing, farting, pooing and dribbling after a few minutes. I’m sorry if you find all of this baby stuff fascinating – it’s just I don’t.
I also apologize to you Sam, if you’re reading this. Actually, if you’re reading this you clearly possess highly developed skills for a 8-month-old. Skills I should be trying to monetize… I wonder when the next Britain’s Got Talent auditions are?
But seriously, as we all now know, looking after a baby is a job. It’s also a labour of love. Neither of these activities are particularly synonymous with being fascinating.
I’m going to admit to something else. Until very recently my favourite parts of the day have been when Sam was asleep. Am I alone in this? I’m not sure.
Let’s not get confused here. I enjoy spending time with my son. But I also find it exhausting, just as I would find any repetitive task tiring.
Last week, I sang ‘Incy Wincy Spider’ 200 times, to get Sam to sleep. It was the only that would keep him calm.
I got to the point where I was giving the condensed version:
“Incy… Spider… Water… Spout… Down… Rain… Washed… Out…”
I never want to hear that song again.
I’ve also been playing the ‘Pick it up’ game. You know the one: I give Sam a dummy, he puts it in his mouth. Sam throws it on the floor. I pick it up from the floor and give Sam the dummy *.
*Repeat times 100.
Perhaps you can see why I’ve been a little enthusiastic about the periods of time off I get when he’s having a nap? Not that it’s actually ‘time off’, it’s time when I work, or do the dishes, ironing, hoovering or… you get the idea.
It’s amazing, I rack my brains but I can’t quite figure out what I used to do during all the free time I had before Sam’s arrival. What was I doing? I mean REALLY what was I doing?
Things have changed of late though. Sam’s advancing at such a rate that I’m genuinely fascinated by the way he’s getting on. He’s turned into such a little charmer, smiling, laughing and giggling. Sam’s got a real sense of humour, he even laughs at my jokes – despite not being able to understand them. Actually that’s probably the best way to experience my gags.
In fact, in the last few days I’ve been worrying about how interesting I am to spend time with! Am I worth waking from a nap for?
Oh how quickly the tables have turned! I’ll have to keep on my toes to avoid boring Sam! This dad stuff is never simple!
The Out of Depth Dad