I’m not saying that pre-Sam I was some kind of intellectual super-power.
Far from it.
I’m the type of guy who gets quite smug after answering a few questions correctly on The Chase (my favourite Chaser, should you want to know, is The Governess. I don’t have a good reason for this. I probably should stop there).
University Challenge leaves me universally challenged.
As for Mastermind, I think I’d fall down on the General knowledge – I know nothing about Generals*.*
**That was what’s known in the trade as a ‘Dad Joke’. Since Sam’s arrival I am (officially) allowed to tell them – joy!
Anyway, despite not being a candidate for Eggheads, I always prided myself on having a brain that worked – kind of.
All that has changed since the arrival of our little monkey. I have a suspicion this occurrence is the result of a combination of lack of sleep (the standard parenting complaint) and being permanently unnaturally enthusiastic – unnatural for me, quite a monotone Northerner.
Together these elements have created what I like to call ‘Daddy Brain’.
I’ll give you an example of how ‘Daddy Brain’ manifests itself:
Yesterday I went to the loo. Quite a mundane activity, I’m sure you’ll agree. I won’t give details of whether this featured an odd or even number. Anyway, I did what came naturally and flushed the toilet. On doing so, for no good reason, I said out loud:
“There’s a good boy! Well done.”
I was on my own. Seriously. Sam is nowhere near being ready for toilet training. Why I said it is beyond me. Sadly, it got worse. For some reason, saying this caused me to roar with spontaneous laughter. Laughing by yourself in the loo is not (in our culture) regarded as a good thing. My other half called through the bathroom door to check if I was OK – all I could do in reply was snigger.
That’s Daddy Brain for you.
Another Daddy Brain incident happened to me when, at 7 in the morning I made my way to the kitchen to make a brew. I opened a bag of ground coffee and, rather than emptying it into a the jar, I emptied the whole thing into the cafetiere. Once more this triggered deranged laughter from me, and concerned inquiries from my other half upstairs.
The strangest incidence of Daddy Brain occurred to me today. I was going around the supermarket, alone, and without consciously being aware of it I was singing (loudly) “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!”
When I say that I was singing loudly, I’m not lying. In fact, I was singing with such gusto that, just as I passed the dairy section, another customer joined in with my rendition.
Before, in my pre-Daddy days, this would have been so embarrassing to me that I would have stopped, dumped my basket and run home to hide. With Daddy Brain, that didn’t happen, We harmonized for a moment before I continued with my shopping.
It was all very strange.
So that’s Daddy Brain for you. I can’t wait to see what I do tomorrow, something weird, no doubt.
The Out of Depth Dad.