I briefly considered trying to wrestle the pouch from the woman, but quickly dismissed the idea. One of the issues of being a large man is that, if discovered fighting with a Miss Marple look-a-like in the Co-op, few people are likely to believe that you didn’t start it.
The only logical conclusion that any sane (and stable) person could possibly come to, when faced with this behaviour, is the president isn’t really the president at all. Don’t you see? Clearly the president is actually a 12-year-old boy, who wished to be ‘a grown-up’ using the Zoltar Fortune Teller Machine - previously seen in the hit 1988 Tom Hank’s movie ‘BIG’.
Limit yourself to just one argument on Christmas day. Your row could be about anything: Brexit, doing the washing up or even who’s better Ant or Dec, it really doesn't matter. Expect the argument, enjoy it and move on.
For anyone who missed it, here's the article from Woman's Own magazine, where yours truly organised a dry run of Christmas...
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, that’s what they say. This may be true, but let’s not forget that Christmas can also be the most confusing time of the year, especially for a child.
They say you should never meet your heroes, but there are some opportunities you can’t refuse: like interviewing the real Father Christmas.
I've started listening to The Archers. Let me say that again: I'VE STARTED LISTENING TO THE ARCHERS. It's actually quite good.
Back then Halloween was a genuinely scary experience, not because of ghosts and goblins. The fear came with the concern that, dressed like an idiot, you might bump into someone you knew!
I Have Poo Tinnitus. It's true. Everywhere I go I can smell a gentle whiff of poo. Where it's coming from I can't tell you. It may be that changing a multitude of nappies has made me especially sensitive to the aroma of fecal matter?
PARENTING IS HARD! Parenting is also wonderful, challenging, rewarding, exhausting, tedious, exhilarating and constantly surprising.