Why Dads Are Better Than Superheroes

Dads do AMAZING things WITHOUT superpowers It's (relatively) easy to save the day if you can fly or walk up the side of buildings. Superheroes (on the whole) are blessed with some pretty nifty abilities that the average person in the street could only dream of. They've got a bit (read 'a lot') of a head start. The thing is, I've seen dads do amazing things with no superpowers whatsoever. OK, OK, what they do might not be as 'showy' as the antics of Messrs Wayne, Kent and Stark - but they're more impressive.

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Specs, Hugs and Bacon Rolls: The anatomy of a dad’s birthday

Suddenly a cry rings out, causing a shudder of tiredness to run up my spine and take root in the bags under my eyes. Next, probably by magic, your feet find the floor and you question y our existence. The door opens and a night light illuminates the face of a crying toddler, you smile broadly - pushing back your own desire to cry. Then, tot in arms, you collapse into the chair and break into a droning "Incy Wincy Spider..." as you look at the clock. It's 3 am. But the tot doesn't care about the time. Why? You get your answer as the full flavour of the nappy he's just filled wafts towards you. Happy Birthday.

8 Things In Your Pockets That Prove You’re The Parent Of A Toddler!

A Musical Vehicle. Now I'm not suggesting that musical vehicles (like those created by Vtech) were first created by sadists in a diabolical plan to bring misery into the lives of already stressed-out parents. I'm not suggesting that at all. OK, I am suggesting that this might be one possibility.

(Almost) Famous…

My brush with fame was to take place at the Exeter offices of BBC Devon. From these far from exotic surroundings (sat in a glorified cupboard) I was to link in with show. It was only when I was seated, mic'd and framed for the piece that my stomach sank. I spent the next 30 minutes, looking at 4 monitors each displaying my features as we waiting for the allotted time. Under the harsh lighting (without makeup) I looked like crap. There's no other way of looking at it, I looked like someone who'd just completed a sleep deprivation marathon. I have never seen myself look so old, tired or haggard. 

5 Things I’ve Heard Myself Say Since I Became A Dad…

"I look forward to bin day, I find it strangely cathartic." That bin day or 'Big Bin Day' as we call it our house - in order to distinguish it from the lesser recycling box collection day - is a highlight of my month, surprises me.

Really, like, BIG!

The only logical conclusion that any sane (and stable) person could possibly come to, when faced with this behaviour, is the president isn’t really the president at all. Don’t you see? Clearly the president is actually a 12-year-old boy, who wished to be ‘a grown-up’ using the Zoltar Fortune Teller Machine - previously seen in the hit 1988 Tom Hank’s movie ‘BIG’.

10 Things I Didn’t Expect From Being A Parent

I Have Poo Tinnitus. It's true. Everywhere I go I can smell a gentle whiff of poo. Where it's coming from I can't tell you. It may be that changing a multitude of nappies has made me especially sensitive to the aroma of fecal matter?