Limit yourself to just one argument on Christmas day. Your row could be about anything: Brexit, doing the washing up or even who’s better Ant or Dec, it really doesn't matter. Expect the argument, enjoy it and move on.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, that’s what they say. This may be true, but let’s not forget that Christmas can also be the most confusing time of the year, especially for a child.
Back then Halloween was a genuinely scary experience, not because of ghosts and goblins. The fear came with the concern that, dressed like an idiot, you might bump into someone you knew!
I Have Poo Tinnitus. It's true. Everywhere I go I can smell a gentle whiff of poo. Where it's coming from I can't tell you. It may be that changing a multitude of nappies has made me especially sensitive to the aroma of fecal matter?
I do think that there is often a lot of over-thinking that takes place around babies. Parents are expected to give answers to questions that really don't matter and act as if they do.
It's a strange thing feeding another human being. Even stranger when a fussy eater is feeding their non-fussy eater child. I spend long periods of time faking smiles and satisfied noises about food I wouldn't dream of eating myself.
It's these people, and their blissful ignorance, that contemporary parents must learn to navigate around. Like hidden rocks among the flotsam and jetsam of parenting - they must be spotted and avoided if possible.
Look, I'm no newbie when it comes to taking Sam to play environments. I'm the survivor of several Soft Play campaigns. I've been to hell, I know what it's like.
I've never been fashionable...
It used to be your favourite thing to do...